The Best Friend

I must say, this girl is one of the reasons why I'm myself today. If it wasn't for her, I would still be the nerd that I was 10 years ago. I can vividly recall how she'd convince me to wear semi-fit clothes, how she'd try to bring me to parties in Makati, how she'd slap my back whenever I'd be slouching. I guess she saw my potential and did her best to save me from becoming the stereotypical nerd. And even if she missed my pre-birthday dinner, she took the time to drop by the apartment to laugh about our lives since we last met. Despite all our shortcomings to each other, we're still best friends.

Flying business class

We used to travel to the Middle East when I was a little boy and we always booked economy class. But there were a couple of times when we’d sit in business class instead (I think my dad pulled a few strings since he knew some people from the airline). Back then, business class offered a few things better than economy: a comfortable seat, bigger space, your own personal TV, and better food. But now, that’s just economy. One of these days I’m going to fly business again. Just you wait.

Creative shot

I came to the venue without a pinch of idea as to what I’ll be for my creative shot. I only had my hoodie with me. Then I saw those big dark wings hanging on the wall and I right there and then I knew what I’ll be for my photo.

Virgilio Baliber

That name will always remind me that there are still honest people working out there.

After having dinner at ATC’s foodcourt, Mike and I hurried to check something elsewhere and I didn’t realize that I left my wallet. I only began looking for my wallet, which contained a thousand pesos, my pill box, ATM cards, and my San Beda ID, when we were supposed to buy something already.

We ran back to the foodcourt hoping that I’d still find my wallet there, but it was gone. Then the restaurant staff where we bought food motioned for me to look for one of the cleaners of the mall, who was conveniently looking for me too. He told us to follow him to the concierge and that’s where I got my wallet back. And not a cent lost, too!

I was extremely grateful for the dark skinned, mild mannered man who gave me back my wallet. He showed me his name tag when I asked for his name and it read, “Virgilio Baliber.” As a sign of great appreciation, I gave Virgilio 100 pesos. It was truly amazing. If you ever bump into him at ATC, do say hi. He’s a good soul.

Many thanks to college

Jacob sat cross-legged in front of his laptop, searching for words in his head to start his work. He sat staring towards the blinking line on his blank screen as it, too, impatiently waited for the writer to rape it with words. But nothing came; not a drop of inspiration manifested. He was thinking that maybe he was losing his touch and being able to write would eventually abandon him.

He wrote. He wrote for months, not of stories created by his imagination, but by forces that seemed bent on destroying it: web content, research, thesis, analysis.

He never had a chance to explore. He never even had a chance to open a book. There they lay on an empty corner of his room, laced with cobwebs, just like his imagination.

“Isn’t it ironic that the very institution that molds us to become productive men would keep us from becoming productive by denying us our dreams today?” he thought. “

Jacob sat cross-legged in front of his laptop, lost in his search for words.

Long day

I don’t mind traveling far, I just need to have a very good reason to go. The last time I went to Quezon City was when Mike and I got Fonzie from the breeder. Today we had the opportunity to go to the big city to attend our inaanak’s first birthday party in a restaurant along Quezon Avenue.

We didn’t stay long; we left a little past 3 to visit Mike’s favorite church, Crossroad 77. I must say that it’s one of the coolest churches I’ve been to (the list isn’t long).

After that, we met up with Ronan at Greenhills to attend service after shopping for throw pillows. Greenhills is like a can of sardines and a can of mackarel stacked side by side.

We then traveled to Makati to have dinner at Heaven & Eggs. It was my first time to eat there and I must say that I was really pleased with the food that was serve to me. Mike’s sandwich was delightfully tasty, too. We went home right after.

You see, I don’t mind going far from sweet home Alabang. I just need a good reason—nay, reasons—to go. The birthday party, service, and the throw pillows convinced me to go.

Stressed Out. Sleep Deprived.

Now that my core leave is about to end, I am preparing myself for the stressful environment that is called work. I’ll be honest with you. I used to enjoy working for HSBC. I loved it once. Working for one of the biggest and best financial institutions, not to mention “the best place to work”, was a very seductive sales pitch. But lately, the politics and unending changes and updates at work seem to be getting more and more unhealthy every second.

I can’t seem to handle all the changes lately. People leave or have been let go for various reasons and those who stay fill their post for an indefinite period of time. Right now, we’ve got thrice the amount of work compared to what we had when I joined the team – October was the beginning of the “peak season” and a lot of accounts were being worked. A lot of updates have been done. A lot add to the inconvenience of our customers. But what can I do… These are procedures – for the company’s best interest - which sometimes confuses me. And I follow these to my very best even if I have to argue with some incredibly stupid GM, Orchard, or Household Bank Cardholders.

I’m not worried about competition. It’s always there. But in my department it’s no longer good. Not to brag but for the first few months I have exceeded even those who have been with the department for years. That’s because I was enthusiastic and new and young. I leveled myself with the top performers at the start and I was able to produce great results for an entry-level employee. Recently my stats at work have been dropping. I’m no longer performing at my best and I’m not worried about it at all.

It helps when we have a goal and we can feel that we’re getting closer to that goal every once in a while be it a promotion or raise. Honestly, I no longer feel that I’m getting to where I should be. I’m going around in circles. I feel like the quality of the work I am doing is not meant to be where I am now and this adds up to the decline of the quality of work I have.

I’m not saying that I’m going to resign immediately. I’m being practical by not leaving yet.  I simply want to let this frustration out. I’m going to continue with this bull crap until the day I no longer need to. I’m going back to school – which is like a new lease in life by the way. I’ve formally requested in writing about my intent of doing part-time work. Hopefully it gets approved pretty soon, otherwise I’m definitely leaving. Contrary to what a lot of people say, I believe that if you have the skill and the attitude, you’ll definitely land a job. What’s difficult is the waiting part – oh, and keeping it.
I remember what Mike said a couple of hours ago. Every time he sees our bags with the company brand...

He gets stressed already.

Process of moving

The thought of transferring to a bigger place is exciting. But it’s really exhausting carrying stuff by foot. You could just imagine how many trips I’ve had. I’ve sore muscles and darker skin. I also had to clean the new apartment and also the stuff we have. I had to cover the holes with clay, mop the floor, and wipe everything else. The laundry basket’s full to the rim. Once everything’s clean, I arranged the interior to make it look spacious. It’s really nice because I can breathe again in my own home. And what about the clutter? Oh yeah, we had lots of those! They’re neatly piled outside the apartment ready to be picked up by the garbage men.

I find moving out fun and really exhausting. Let’s compare it to life. In order for us to move forward we need a certain goal where we want to be in, say for example, a new apartment. It’s never an easy task because we continuously encounter road blocks such as moving your things from one place to another. We have to clean the new place, rearrange the furniture, and fix whatever is needed to be fixed. Throughout the entire process we need patience. Without which, those pipes will leak in a couple of months. Pretty much like how learn stuff, it’s better to experience the difficult ones because we end up stronger than those who asked for help – that’s what I think. How will we learn to clean the shit in our lives if we pay someone to do it? The clutter which you do not need has to be disposed because too much of the past can choke us in the future. You choose only what you need to remind you of your hard work. After the grueling process of moving we’ve finally come to the point where we stand at our very door, looking inside our new place, and we breathe out the words, “damn, this is home,” and you’re finally there.

I’ve finally settled in my new apartment with my brother. Pretty soon Mike’s going to join us once his request to transfer from Commonwealth to Alabang gets approved. It actually started as a suggestion. A week later and we moved out. The new place is clean, has enough space, and reasonably priced. Maintaining it would be easier compared to our old place. Here's my bucket list to make it even better:

1.   Save more than P50,000.00 extra before the year ends;
2.   Spend more time with my brothers during my free time;
3.   Be more loving and less confrontational;
4.   Spend a couple of days at the beach with my significant other;
5.   Learn not to trust people immediately;
6.   Deal only with facts;
7.   And lose 29% of body fat.

Try again later

Recently, an old flame popped out of nowhere to ask if we could be friends again. Of course I said yes. He told me how I motivate him now and I felt happy knowing that I help other people become better individuals. But I didn’t expect it was a motivation of a different kind. Our conversations are about our past most of the time and I get uncomfortable talking about it. He nags about how I never put effort in the relationship and I gave up on him. He knows about my present relationship and insists on other things I will not mention here. What I do not understand is how he cannot let go of the past. He is clinging to that past and hoping that our so-called friendship would bring it back. Now that’s stupid. If you are reading this, I will say this to you again: Try again later. Or better yet, don’t try at all. I did my part when I was with you, you didn’t do yours. Do the math.

Party at Vivant

It was Paula’s party last night and she invited some friends over to celebrate it with her. Thinking of nothing to buy for a gift, I’ve decided to buy a pretty little cake from Bizu for her. Strawberries and chocolate. She liked it and I’m glad she did. So there was food, right? Most of it was straight-from-the-pan soaked in cooking oil! So much for a healthy eating. I volunteered to help in the cooking. Everything I did I wrapped in tissue to absorb the oil. And I think the way I did the food was better than the way it was made before Eunice and I came in. The palabok was great though and the cake from Red Ribbon was even better.

Now Paula’s friends are in our age group but Eunice and I felt like we don’t belong. Well, we don’t really belong there – they were Paula’s friends from her college and we belong to a different world. I did try to talk to them. Come on, I should be socializing. I was able to talk to a few of them since they were all engrossed at the laptop watching something. This party cannot be reached, try again later.

Eunice and I shared drinks: a bottle of beer and a glass of gin. We wouldn’t dare try the tequila. Eunice was driving and the only reason why she was allowed to come was because I’m with her. So we cannot be drunk, look drunk, or smell drunk. Good thing people smoked at the terrace so we didn’t have to worry about smelling like ash trays.

There was a commotion at the terrace where Paula, Robert, and Pong were staying. They were seeing a couple having sex from the other condo unit. Pong even wanted to record the entire thing I heard. I raised an eyebrow when Eunice and I went out to see what they were seeing. They weren’t having sex – they just had sex. I was a little disturbed because it wasn’t the stereotypical reason why most boys in their early 20’s would raise their heads for. The couple was not enticing at all. The guy was fat and looked like he was Korean or Japanese and the woman looked as if she was picked from a cheap catalog of mail-order brides. Instead of joining the gang’s delight of seeing live sex – or what’s left of it, I resorted to cooking cheese sticks and curly fries again.

Due to the negligence of one of Paula’s friends, the food was now completely soaked in oil and the entire condo unit was filled with smoke. The exhaust fan was already on full blast and I was a little worried the smoke might trigger the fire alarm. But I guess it was sort of a good thing if it did because some of them were drunk already – instant shower! I went back to cooking, right? I corrected the food, served it, and cleaned a little. I tried my hardest to resist the older brother syndrome: cleaning up the mess – while they’re still making mess. You know how OC I can get.

Paula asked the others not to make too much noise because one of the tenants complained. That’s when I stopped cooking and just sat down with Eunice and watch the fray – or what’s about to become one. They were debating on how to go home and whom to bring home with. It was delightful to watch them half-drunk talking about it. Paula wasn’t drunk so she took the reins and ordered some to bring some and then some…

Come 11 in the evening Eunice and I decided to say our thanks to Paula and leave. The party was a little interesting and I could see that Paula’s already stressed. More people were coming in. When we got to the car, we breathed a little and laughed because of two things: I left the car’s interior light on the entire time we were upstairs and Eunice could’ve killed me because of it; and we smelled like food – which is way better than smelling like ash.

Eunice dropped me off at the village entrance and she drove off for home. Now it was a little awkward since it was Eunice driving and not me. I’m a gentleman and it sort of embarrasses me not to take the wheel, but then again, it’s her car. What happened that night was one of the nights that can easily be forgotten. But I’m quite thankful it did happen because it gave me an idea on how to celebrate my birthday or some other special occasion with my boyfriend. All’s well then.

Para lang sa mga taong tulad ko

Paunawa: Kung kayo po ay galit o nasusuka sa mga taong mayayabang, huwag nyo na po sanang basahin ang mga nakasulat sa blog entry na ito sapagkat baka mabwisit lang kayo. Gusto ko lang po sanang linawin na ang entry na ito ay nagpapatawa lang sa pamamagitan ng panunumbat. Alam kong marami sa atin ang nage-enjoy sa mga ganito kahit masama. Tao lang po tayo at sana huwag na kayong maglagay ng mga comment na nagsasabing, “You’re so mean, Coby…” dahil alam kong masama talaga ako. Hahahaha!

Kung kayo man ay nakatayo, nakaupo, nakahiga, nakatihaya, kumakain, dumudumi, kumakanta, at lahat na ng pwedeng magawa sa mundong ito, i-enjoy nyo nalang ito.

Sa aking mga mambabasa,

Marahil ay ipinagtataka niyo kung bakit nasa Filipino na ang aking mga inilalathala ngayon. Marahil ay nagtataka din kayo kung bakit ang isang inggliserong gwapo na tulad ko ay sumusulat sa wikang Filipino. Hindi po malayong mangyari na ang isang inggliserong habulin ng mga babae’t bakla ay mag Tagalog sa kanyang blog. Pinasasalamatan ko po ang aking pinapasukang unibersidad, dahil sa halos wala akong makausap na tao gamit ng wikang Ingles, nahahasa ang aking kakayahan sa pagtatagalog.

Dahil sa binabasa mo ito, aking mahal na tagapagsubaybay, kahit sino ka man, ikaw man ay bata o matanda, dalaga o binata, matangkad o pandak, mukhang tao o hayop ka man, tandaan mo ito: mahal kita! Opo, mahal kita.

Magsisimula ang aking kwento sa isang pook na malayo… Malayong malayo… Hindi ito natatanaw mula sa aming bahay, ngunit isang jeep ride away! Ako’y nakasakay sa FX pauwi galing UST, umuulan ng malakas, malamig sapagkat malakas ang aircon ng sasakyan, at nagiisip. Nagbalik-tanaw ako sa mga nangyari noong Sabado ng gabi nang ako’y pumunta sa Makati upang mag-Gov’t. May kasama ako noon. Ang saya! Ang saya talaga! Ang saya-saya, no??

Kami’y naguusap at sumasayaw… Ngunit sa aming pagsasaya sa pagsasayaw ay hindi ko namalayan na may mga hinayupak na umaaligid at nagbantang agawin ako from the dance floor! Halimbawa, ako ay nagsasayaw habang kahawak ang kamay ng aking kasama sa dance floor nang biglang lumapit ang isang lalaki sa aking tabi at sinubukang hawakan aking…. Opo… Hinawakan na nga nya… Hinawakan nang mahigpit… ang aking kanang kamay…Nang tinignan ko ang kanyang mukha ay nagulat ako. Hindi sya kaakit-akit sa aking mga malabo ngunit may contact lenses na mga mata! Kung naging katext ko man ang lalaking ito ay sya na siguro ang pinaka sinungaling na lalaki sa balat ng lupa kung sasabihin nyang gwapo sya sapagkat ubod sya ng pangit. Kahiya-hiya! Kung umulan man ng balde-baldeng kagandahan at kagwapuhan sa mundo, may sakit sya siguro noon at hindi sya nakakuha ni isang kusing. Agad kong hinila ang aking kamay at hinagkan ang aking ka-date para lumayo na si Cheetah, at lumayo nga sya.

At nang pauwi na ako ng umaga na iyon ay magkatext kami ng mabuti kong kaibigan na si Rafael. Nakita ko kasi yung crush nya dun at aking binrodcast kay Raf ang kanyang itsura at ginawa.

“Ang liit-liit nya. He’s below my line of sight”, ang sabi ko ke Raf.

Funny, yet mean, alam ko. Ngunit, datapwat, subalit, totoo naman ang sinabi kong iyon. Hindi sya biniyayaan ng kaunting katangkaran nang siya ay ipinanganak sa mundong ito. Marahil ay nagbubuhat pa sya ng mabibigat na bagay nung bata pa sya at napasobra ang growth gap nya. Pinayuhan ako ni Raf na gumamit ng constructive criticism. O sige, yun lang pala eh, sinabi ko ke Raf na “there’s still room for a lot of improvement” sa height ng kanyang crush. Constructive na ba? Tsk tsk tsk. Ang tangkad ko talaga. Pero kung mas matangkad ka sa akin at magkatabi tayo, ang pandak ko naman. Mahal parin kita, aking tagapagsubaybay…

At nagbalik na nga ako sa FX na sinasakyan ko, ang tila paghina ng buhos ng ulan, at ang malamig na aircon ng sasakyan. Malapit na nga pala akong bumaba. Kitang kita ko na ang Southmall. Land ho!Naisipan ko munang tignan ang aking Friendster, Downelink, at Multiply accounts para may magawa lang ako habang nandun pa ako sa mall. Naglagay ako ng mga litrato at mga videos sa Multiply account ko. Nakakatuwa talaga ang Multiply! Hindi ko inakalang maa-addict ako dito. Dati kasi wala ako nito, isa akong ignoranteng dukha, marami na ang nagsasabi sa akin na gumawa ako, ngunit lagi kong sinasabi na wala ako masyadong mga litrato. Pero nung nagkaroon ng Bluetooth ang aking telepono ay sige lang ang lagay kahit linggo-linggo na ngayon.

Nang matapos ako sa aking munting kaligayahan, naisipan ko nang umuwi sapagkat nagrereklamo na ang aking matakaw na tiyan.

“Putang ina! Umuwi ka na para makapagluto ka na dahil gutom na ako, Jacobo! Pucha, bilisan mong maglakad!” sigaw ng alaga.

*Sigh…* Sige, bibilisan kong maglakad. Nang palabas na ako ng pintuan, napahinto ako sa aking nakita. Umuulan ng pagkalakas-lakas! Hinahangin ang mga palda ng mga babaeng estudyante ng San Beda Alabang sa lakas, at sabay tili ng mga mala-pitong(whistle) lalamunan ng mga iyon. Ang lakas talaga ng ulan, lumingon ako at nakita ko ang food court ng SM. Ayun! Pagkain! Ok lang kahit gumastos ng konti, basta may makain lang. Namimili na ako ng aking pagbibilhan nang biglang maglaway ako sa mga squid balls na niluluto sa kabilang parte ng salamin ng aking napaghintuan.

“What the fuck?! Squid balls?! Oh my gosh, Coby, may pasta, pizza, and salad dun sa kabila oh! What are you, poverty?!” protesta ng aking matakaw na tiyan.

Pero gusto ko ng squid balls. Bumili ako ng squid balls, anim sila, at isa-isang kinagat, nginuya, at nilunok ang mga mala-langit na squid balls. Heaven!

Matapos kumain, nararamdaman kong humina nanaman ang ulan, and so, lumabas ako at nagsimulang tahakin ang baha sa labas ng SM. Halos mawala ang covered walkway ng SM. Grabe talaga. Wala akong payong. Tinext ko ang aking kapatid na si Maurice na nasa bahay,

“Mau, it’s raining, fetch me. I’m in SM. Hurry! I don’t have an umbrella.”

At nag reply sya, “…wait lang, maliligo lang muna ako.”

Oh my gulay, maliligo pa ang aking kapatid kung kelang umuulan sa labas. Napaka praktikal na gawain, tama yan, sige lang at ipagpatuloy mo...Dahil sa hindi ko mahihintay ang aking napakagaling na kapatid, tinahak ko na nalang ang daan pauwi. Ngunit, datapwat, subalit, hindi lang baha ang sumalubong sa akin, binati din ako ng malakas na hangin at mabigat na bagsak ng ulan. Impatient kasi ako, yun tuloy, dumaan pa ako sa basang impyernong ito bago marating ang langit na bahay ko. Wet and dirty na ako. *Oooh… *

Pagkarating ko sa bahay, naabutan kong bukas ang gate, ngunit sarado ang screen door! Shit! Ano ba yan!? *sigh…* Pero ano yung naririnig ko?! May naririnig akong kanta na nanggagaling sa aming banyo… Napakalakas naman ata ito para marinig ko sa labas.

“…umbrella… ella… ella… eh… eh… eh…”

Abay kumakanta pala ng Umbrella ni Rihanna si Maurice! Para sa inyong kaalaman, straight po aking mahal na kapatid, hindi tulad ng kuya niya na blessed. Hahaha! Ang lakas ng loob pang kumanta ng pagkalakas-lakas ni Maurice! Sa aking pagkainis, binuksan ko ang lahat ng bintana sa labas upang ipakita at iparinig sa buong sambayanan ang hubad na katotohanan ng aking kapatid. Nang lumabas siyang nakatapis ay nagulat na nagsabing,

“Oh, andyan ka na pala.. Pasara naman ng mga windows oh, hehehe”

Hesusmariahosep…Pagkapasok ko sa bahay ay kumuha ulit ako ng makakain sa cupboard. Dali-dali akong umakyat ng hagdan at tumungo sa aking kwarto habang ngumunguya ng cookie. Oh dear… Ang init. *Heavy breathing* Nag umpisa na akong mag hubad. Gusto kong tanggalin lahat na aking suot sa katawan. Tinanggal ko ang aking sapatos, medyas, at basang polo, at habang nakatayo ay ang aking hinubad nang dahan-dahan ang white undershirt, unzipped my pants at dahan-dahang binaba hanggang sa tuluyang nahulog na nga iyon sa sahig… Isa nalang ang suot ko, at alam nyo na iyon… *Heavy breathing* Oh shit… *Heavy breathing* Am I turning you on? Ngunit sa inyong disappointment ay hindi ko sya hinubad. Kumuha ako ng shorts at isinuot iyon, at kumuha na rin ako ng bagong undie dahil maliligo ako. Ngunit nasaan ang aking tuwalya?! Nawawala! Naisip kong baka nakasampay sa labas at andun na nga nang bumaba ako. Lumabas ako ng bahay na walang pantaas na suot, ang damit ko lamang ay ang maikling shorts na kinuha ko kanina sa taas. Topless. Sexy. *Heavy breathing, biting my lower lip* Ang kapal ng mukha kong mag topless sa labas ng bahay kahit hindi naman masyadong… toned, ika nga…  ang aking katawan. Alam kong ipinagbabawal na ang pagto-topless sa kalsada, ngunit wala akong pakialam sapagkat hindi pa naman ako lumalabas ng gate namin. At wala rin akong pakialam kung may makakita sa akin sapagkat wala rin naman kaming kapitbahay na natitipuhan ko dahil wala sa kanila ang may kaakit-akit na mukha at istraktura ng pangangatawan na maganda. Mga poverty sila. Haha!

At nang makapasok ako sa banyo ay dun ko na tinanggal ang lahat… *grins*

At dun ko na rin naisipan na gawin itong blog entry na ito. Wholesome pa naman, kahit papaano. Hahaha!

Sa aking mga minamahal na tagaopagsubaybay,

Sana ay nagustuhan nyo ang mga pagmamayabang ko dito. Inspired lang talaga ako. Hindi po talaga ako ganito kayabang, pero critical ako. Mayabang lang ako pag may ipagmamayabang sa madla. Kadalasan ay mabait ako. Alam nyo yun, friendly, warm, cuddly, hindi po ako nangangagat in public… hahaha!

Alam ko rin po na hindi pa masyadong kaaya-aya ang aking Tagalog, pagpasensyahan nyo na po. Natututo palang ako. Pero sakaling mabigyan tayo ng pagkakataon na makapagusap at makahalubilo, ibang iba po ako sapagat Inglisero ako in person. Pero, marunong din po akong mag-Tagalog, kung gusto nyo ng may accent pa eh why not?! Hahaha!

Thank you, bestfriend, you inspired me, Bish! Sabi ko sayo eh... Hahaha! Love you, bestfriend!

At dito na muna po magtatapos ang aking maikling kwentong punong puno ng kayabangan at kasakiman. Sa susunod, iba naman ang theme. Promise! Hahaha!

Tandaan nyo, mahal ko kayo, dahil itinuturing ko kayong kaibigan, dahil sa binasa nyo ito. Salamat!

Oh siya, lumayas ka na sa page ko.. Hoy! Bago ka pala lumayas, mga dong at inday, mag iwan ka muna ng comment. Sasapakin ko yang mukha mo pag hindi ka mag comment ha?! Ano!?

(Aggressive na… hehehe…. Peace, people! Mwah! Kisses for everyone!)

Missing the simple life

I miss the days when life was simple, when the hardest thing that I could do was to ask my Mom to take us out for dinner at Pizza Hut together… Those were the days… Life wasn’t as complicated as we know it to be. I remember my family taking the earliest flight to Salalah from our condo in Al Khuwair, Oman… It was amazing because we were just browsing through this magazine and we were interested to see a forest in the desert, so we immediately called up my dad and told him to get plane tickets, and we flew for Salalah the following day. I remember my mom driving like there’s no tomorrow and me and my brother hanging on for dear life, reminding my Mom the speed limit and to slow down, we were on our way to the beach that time… The night we slept on the beach after the bonfire and all that fun stuff… And also time when we would do handstands and fall on our backs on the carpeted floor, laughing…

We were kids… We were carefree; we knew nothing but to have fun. Smiles on our dirty faces, sand on our toes, and messy hair…  But I guess something that made us different from the rest of the kids we knew was that we were taught to be responsible at a very early age. Where would you see a 2nd grader cooking chicken nuggets for guests and helping his Mom make chicken salad, a 1st grader cleaning the carpet with a vacuum cleaner and asking his dad to buy a broom instead, and a toddler checking that small little hole on the door to see who’s knocking outside and memorizing all the countries of the world and their capitals? Yes, this is also fun for us. We find everything to be nice and exciting when we’re working together as a team, me and my dear younger brothers. Play together, work together! That was the idea. We felt like one entity rather than individuals. It was brilliant!

We would always fetch our Mom from her work. There’s this nice park beside the hospital where Mom worked and me and brothers would always play there until 5:30-ish when we would go to the hospital and see her fixing up her things and hug us as she leaves work behind. For every good deed we did together, we’d get a treat from our Mom. She always gave what we wanted: Dinner in a restaurant. The hardest thing that I could do was to ask my Mom to take us out for dinner at Pizza Hut. We always ate at KFC or at Burger King and we grew tired of it then! Those were the days. We were contented with what we had back then. Happy are the content, so the saying goes and will always be for us.

But now life’s gotten a lot more complicated. We’d save up for the things we wanted, we’d have to endure a lot of things we’ve never done before like commuting to UST everyday and live with my Dad’s terrible cooking, and experience the feeling of being separated from the very person who brought us into this world and taught us to be good boys. My Mom’s in Sacramento. I miss her a lot. I’m in college now and so is Maurice, Craig’s in high school. We’ve grown up to be good boys indeed, but with a bit of naughtiness on the side. I miss the days when we were so pampered, but never were we spoiled brats; the days when we would sit around the table and enjoy 2 huge family size pepperoni and Hawaiian pan pizzas; and also the days when we were taught how to cook and to clean, when everything was still simple and easier to understand because we never cared for anything else beyond the 4 cozy walls and carpeted floor of our home.

I miss being a kid... I miss days when my Mom taught us how to cook and to clean… I miss Mom!

Perplexed

No, I have no fanatical idea or some dim-witted observation to share today. I simply want to express what I feel right now. The bittersweet feeling of giving up someone from not so long ago and all the things that came along with it for another who’s crazy about you now. I’m torn, actually, a product of my actions. Of late, I know that I’ve been so immature. Always on the go, rushing things, carefree, and unpredictable, I thought I could always foretell the “not so long ago”. But no, I even gave up early, thinking that I could always wait for nothing to come and make something out of it like solid out of thin air. What the “not so long ago” could never boast is a promise, a vow, a commitment. I can’t be without it. It is what I desire. It is what most people want. But seeing as to why my then source of inspiration cannot give what I desire, I gave space for another which I know can give. Soon I entwined myself in this infatuation. But it came back to me. My past has left an indelible mark, a memory I cannot seem to forego. What the “now” cannot seem to expunge. I know I can always care for 2, but one has to weigh more than the other. Both can never be the same. And so now I try to find the answer that would lift me from this catch-22, this no-win situation, this vicious circle. This bittersweet feeling I can’t seem to get out of, knowing of the ineffaceable reminiscence of the past I keep turning to unknowingly, and what the present holds for me. This is me now, a jumbled room of muddled emotions and dreams.

Rantings ni Coby

Picture this...

You're in a bus going to school, you enjoy that view of the coast as the sun gently rises over the horizon, then suddenly a dark man with tattoos running down his arm wearing dirty white sando, baggy pants, a backpack suddenly takes the seat beside you... Scary, isn't it? Well for me it is..

How about this...

You go to the mall to chill and have a good time when suddenly a group of youngsters wearing black shirt, pants, bracelets, eye liner, manicure, lipstick, shoes, with bright colored socks and their hair worn either 3 inches above their scalp or simply oiled down with bangs hanging like dead twigs to reveal the shape of their elongated heads... Embarrassing, isn't it? Well, for me it is..

Most of the time I wonder why most Filipinos couldn't and wouldn't dress and act properly. They may think wearing these kinds of clothes make them look cool and manly. Contrary to this, they look rather uncivilized to me. Sorry for the term, but they really do. Acting like they own the place, they're a bit off.. My bro and I were in the mall when we saw this gang that would totally dispear in the dark, and we just stared at each other. They could just wear clean clothes that would really look good on them... And come on, they might wanna try colors that would compliment their sun-burned skin! Add a little perfume and they'd look good, feel good, smell good.

Ooh! Another one...

I picked up my little bro from his Taekwondo lessons, we decided to pass through the mall after having dinner. Sure, it was a nice evening and we haven't seen anything we would find interesting. Then suddenly I saw this girl (A bit chubby)... She was wearing blue-green spandex, which really looked nice on her, and this white mini-skirt.. The funny thing was, this skirt of hers did little to conceal her panty... Every guy who happen to pass by kept on staring at her, especially down there. The worst part: the girl was with a guy! Maybe her boyfriend or bro or whatever, but hey, come on! He might've told the girl to wear something that would cover her undergarment.

I would like to tell anyone who might comment on my post that I observe an individual from head to foot. From hairstyle to toe nails. And yes, I am well aware that people can also comment on the clothes I wear, but hey! Walang pakialamanan! <did I spell that right?

Mula pagkabagot hanggang pagkahulog ng loob ni Coby

Grabe, ang hirap ng buhay na walang magawa kundi magkulong sa bahay at gumawa ng paraan para hindi mabaliw sa pagiging bored.

Sarado ang mga malls. Holy Week na kasi.

Habang ang karamihan ng mga tao ay nagpapakasaya sa kani-kanilang mga paglangoy at pamamasyal, ako naman ay nagtetext at nakahiga sa aking kama habang pinagmamasdan ang bughaw na kalangitan.

Nasa San Pablo ang aking mga pinsan. Walang kaibigang nagaaya sa akin na pumunta sa kung saan sapagkat idinaraos nila ang Holy Week kasama ang kanilang mga pamilya.

Bakit hindi naming ito gawin naming magkakapatid? Dahil ayaw namin. Mga katoliko kaming magkakapatid, pero hindi naming sinusunod ang tradisyon. Maaari niyo kaming tawagin na radikal at hibang, pero wala kaming pakialam. Bawal ang karne, pero kumakain kami ng pork chop, corned beef, pepperoni, at marami pang ibang uri ng karne sa aming refrigerator. Hindi nga naming alam kung ano ang mga Stations of the Cross e! Kami yung mga tipo ng taong matatawag niyong deviant.

Bored ako.

Madalas ay nasa kwarto lang ako at nagtetext at nagbabasa ng magazine. Minsan ay naglaro kami ng kapatid ko ng badminton. Pero kailangan ko ng kausap. Yung matinong kausap.

Buti nalang andyan siya.

Araw araw ay katext at kausap ko siya sa telepono. Tuwang-tuwa nga ako dahil pinapangiti niya ako. Lagi kaming naguusap ng kung anu-ano. Lagi naming pinagtatawanan ang mga bagay-bagay. Mabait siya. Sweet siya. Nakakatuwa pa. Pakiramdam ko espesyal ako dahil sa kanya. Gustong-gusto ko siya. Nahuhulog na ang loob ko sa kanya!

Sana nga… Siya na…

At ngayong patapos na ang Holy Week, maaari ko nanamang gawin ang mga kinagawian kong gawin. Magbubukas na muli ang mga malls. Hindi na ako bored. Malapit na rin kaming magkita muli. Sa Martes. Yun ang araw namin. Masaya nanaman ako. Sigurado, mag-e-enjoy kami sa Martes. Madami kaming gagawin. Isang buong araw na kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama.

Yiee!!! Nai-inlove na muli si Coby!

At ngayong patapos na ang Holy Week, mapuputol ang entry na ito sapagkat hindi pa dito nagtatapos ang aking kuwento…

Telephone conversation

*Telephone rings

Jacob: Hello?
Caller: Yes, hello, may I speak to Mr. Justo Clavano?

J: I’m sorry, but my…
C: Hello?
J: Can you hear me?

C: Hello? May I speak to Mr. Justo Clavano?
J: I’m sorry, but my father left home very early today.

C: Where did he go?
J: I’m sorry, but I do not know where.

C: Hello? Can you tell him Mr. Henry Ngosu of [the] United Bank of Nigeria called?
J: Mr. Henry who?

C: Mr. Henry Ngosu of [the] United Bank of Nigeria called. Did you get that?
J: Of course, Mr. Ngosu…

-Click-

-Telephone rings-

J: Hello?
C: Yes, did you get my name? This is Mr. Henry Ngosu of [the] United Bank of Nigeria. Tell your father I called. It’s very important.

J: Of course, Mr. Ngosu, I’ll tell my father when he gets back.
C: Yes, tell him that Mr. Henry Ngosu of [the] United Bank of Nigeria called!

*Click

*Telephone rings

J: Yes?!
C: Tell you father I called, it is important.

J: Ok, I will tell my father you called.
C: Good, what’s your name? Who are you?

J: Jacob, I’m his son.
C: What? Can you spell it out for me? I didn’t get you.

J: Jacob. J-A-C-O-B. I’m his son.
C: Ok, Jayden, how old are you?

J: I’m sorry but I can’t tell you that.
C: What? I can't hear you. Can you tell you father I called? It is very important.

J: Mr. Ngosu, I’m sorry but my father is not at home however I will tell him you called. No matter how important it is for you to talk to him, I suggest you wait until he contacts you because as I have told you, he’s not here and please try to understand that most of the people here are sleeping and it is rude to call at 3:00 in the morning, demanding to speak to my father at this time of the night. A little respect, please. Thank you and good bye!

*Click

5 for logic

Okay, so let's start from the second this day started. 12:01am...

I couldn't sleep. Why? 'coz I'm nervous... Why? 'coz I'm finally going to view my grades for the second semester. So many things came running through my mind! The "what ifs" and "what now"... It came to the point when I began to think of where I'm going to study should I get debarred!  I thought maybe I'll do good in San Beda Alabang since it's nearer and I kinda liked it there na rin. I was getting paranoid! What can I do?!  So went downstairs to fix myself a cup of hot chocolate and relieve the stress... Its "The Day"... Clearance day... I'd have to face the computer in the Main Building and look at my grades.

Then I finally I felt the urge to sleep around 1:00am...

Before my dad went to sleep, I told him to wake me up around 5:30am 'coz I live in Las Pinas and going to UST from my place isn't a quick one. Guess what, he woke me up 5 sharp! Hell I wanted to go back to dreaming when he shouted once more to get me up on my feet. And I did. I had bread and butter for breakfast and fresh orange juice. I watched MTV from 5:30 to 6. I took a bath right after and got dressed and all the usual rituals I do before going out. I left home 6:45am.

After an hour, I got off at Lawton and waited for another fx to UST. Here's the creepy part. A dirty old man kept on staring at me and he looked like he wanted to punch me! He was glaring those dirty little eyes on me! Ugh! I moved to a spot where I thought he wont follow and guess what, he followed!  He started shouting at me from a distance though. Indistinct at first, then got clearer. Apparently he thought I wanted to pick on him! I simply moved farther from him. Then the DOM got tired and moved away na rin, of course with the rantings still heard... Then I noticed he dropped a small plastic stapled at the top containing white powder. Then it occured to me that this isn't just tawas, drugs yun dude!!!! Di ko kinuha of course! I found my ride at last and went off for UST. Andun parin yung sache' sa pavement in front of City Hall.

UST na ako! Eto na! Kailangan ko nang harapin ang computer na yun! Kelangan ko nang makita grades ko! So I went inside and lined up... After, say 3 minutes, it was my turn na. I logged in and I gave a sigh of relief... I got good grades naman pala. I passed almost everything! Almost...  When I thought I got a 3 on my Lgic (I hate Logic), I was so disappointed when it was in fact, yes, a 5! My god! Bagsak ako! But hey, isa lang yun! Duh! I'm going to take it sa summer! Hahaha!  To be honest, I prefer to stay in school than spend summer at home... Idle ako pag summer and I hate it. Bored to death! I dont have friends who can invite me to go with them to the beach or somewhere nice and relaxing. Most of my friends are busy on their own. Sigh...

So I got my clearance na...

Gissele and I went to UP around 10:30 in the morning. We went there to get an application form for her. It was quite an adventure! And it was hot! Fuckin' hot! We would have been lost and scorched if not for the help of that very nice girl who showed us the way, vaguely though.

Gissele got her application form, I, on the other hand, have no intentions of going home yet. Maaga pa masyado. So I proposed we go to UP Manila. Gissele agreed. The funny part was when we were calculating the expenses of going to UP Manila from Diliman. Should we spend P37 by FX, or P33 by LRT2, or P40+ on MRT. Of course we chose the cheapest. We took the LRT2!  We passed through Katipunan. Gosh... Gissele was like a tourist! Hehehe..

We got to Pedro Gil finally. Passed through Rob's Place to freshen up. When we got to UP Manila, we were kind of disappointed 'coz di pedeng mag transfer to Nursing.  But hey, ok lang! Finally we decided to go home na. I showed Gissele where to ride a bus going to Fairview. And I took my own ride going home.  I fell asleep actually. I woke up and found myself nearing SM Southmall already. How fast time flies when you're tired and all... And right now, I'm hungry and I think I'll grab a quesadilla from Taco Bell...

Lots of love, Coby.

Mishap at the mall

Have you ever wondered how many people would die to catch a glimpse of a hot celebrity? How they would endure blistering colds and scorching heat of the sun to touch and molest these “stars”? I did.

Not an hour ago I experienced what its like to be in front of a stampede of rampaging girls. How? Well, I was walking at the mall, sending my friend a SMS, when I noticed this male celebrity flanked by a dozen or so security guards striding directly towards me. Of course I have no choice but to give way. Then this fucking bastard of a guard pushed me aside, as if the entire way is too small for them to pass through without hurting someone. His cheap little Rolex scratched my left arm! And not even a simple apology. This young star even grinned! Bullshit! Then here comes the best part, the rampaging low-lives pushed, pulled, bumped at me, screaming the name of Mr. Starlet. I felt like I was raped ten times over!

These people we call celebrities who most of us adore are simply people: ordinary people living an extraordinary life. And what makes them special is the attention they get from their fans. Media’s main purpose is to produce audiences, and out of these audiences a fan is made. Celebrities aren’t gods and goddesses to be worshipped. Take away their shell of fame and fortune and you what you get is the same organic material we’re made of, no matter how perfectly smooth their skin is.

These people who live in the upper echelons of society are no different from the people who live to praise them. Celebrities come and go, so does their fans. Human beings are never satisfied and soon fans will start to look for a new star to venerate. The cycle goes on and on, spiral as it seems.

Clearly these fans that desire and fantasize about their idols are here to stay no matter what as long as there are people who are being thrown into fame by the media, and these celebrities will continue to live as long as there are weak minded individuals who crave for them.

The scratch on my arm stings… ouch…