In the dark

A couple of years ago, vaguely, I saw my former partner outside our rented apartment in the dark with a stranger. It was really late and the light coming from the windows wasn't enough to push back the shadows that hid them from me. But I knew they were close. Too close for strangers to stand by each other in a dark corner of the compound.

I was used to sleeping with my partner. We shared that small bed that was pushed against the thin wood wall. Feeling that someone was with me as I slept brought me comfort, security, contentment. But that night I woke up alone and confused. Where could have my partner gone?

I heard hushed voices coming from outside. Our room was nearest to the only door of that small place. I tried to silently open the door of the room, but I knew that that would be impossible since our room's door was tightly pressed against the wooden frame of the wall. I opened it still and rushed outside, away from the bright flourescent light of the small living area, into the dark outside. And there I saw them.

My partner immediately tried to bring me back inside. I can't be sure of what I did next. But I am not a man of the fist therefore I can definitely say that the stranger left bruise-free.

I was angry at my partner, but it eventually subsided. I was even foolish enough to apologize to the stranger for my odd behavior thru text. I don't know why I did that, but I know now that my reaction wasn't odd at all, in fact it was warranted, and that by apologizing to the stranger I have lost my mind.

Regardless of reason, no partner should ever meet with a stranger especially in the dark. The experience has left me a little traumatized, paranoid even. I hate this.