Thursday, November 24, 2011

Rejection for Dummies

A couple of years ago I dated a guy I have mentioned in one of my older entries. Of course, if you’ve read it, you would know who I’m talking about. I won’t go into details, but to keep it short: we stopped and he got angry.

It's odd that the guy I dated years ago was mad at me. Was it the way I answered back at his pathetic, desperate verbal attacks or was it because he couldn’t accept the fact that I’m not into him.

I haven't done anything bad. I only did what I had to do, reject him. It must’ve grown on him and has made his life’s mission to stay mad at me 'til he’s peacefully in his sleep. Now, it’s not only my former date who’s mad at me, but there are others as well. Others whom I’ve had dated.

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way... that is not easy. Aristotle

I’ve thought maybe they’re not well aware of what to do when they’re under pressure of being rejected or when they have already been rejected.  So here, I’ve decided to share some of my own thoughts on how to move on from rejection, your fault or not.

Do not take your rejection personally. Remember, it's not easy to reject a person. The reject-or needs to take the reject-ee's feelings in to account. He needs to break it to you in such a way that you'd get less hurt from the experience. He's actually doing you a favor by not wasting your time with him.

Erase him from your phonebook. Keeping his number would only make the feeling worse (if you’ve been rejected). You’ll only be tempted to rant at him. You’ll end up as the bitter little loser and him the glorious winner.

Change his name. If you can’t erase him from you phonebook because you think you might actually have a chance to be friends with him but you’re not ready yet, then its better that you change his name for the meantime to “Do Not Text Him”. It worked for me!

Indifference. Don’t show or let the person know you’re concerned. Be apathetic.

Surround yourself with friends. Friends can and will keep your mind off him. They’re one of the best you have to keep you distracted until you get to meet someone knew.

Be in the market. Come on, the guy’s not the only one in the ocean. Surf the net immediately after that date.

Chocolates. Works every time.

And lastly, do not make the same mistakes again. You’re stupid if you will. Making the same mistakes increases your chance of getting rejected, again!

Now I’m sure there are other ways which you guys might think of, or my rules do not apply to yours. It never hurts to try. These, of course, are all based from experience. The whole point of dating is to get to know the person. I don’t see any reason why you should get mad at someone because of rejection. Unless, of course, that person has done something that would really merit anger, do not show one bit of emotion towards him.

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the inquiry that provokes it. Seneca

So, what do I have to say to the guy I dated two months ago? Thank you for showing you still care. You must be in hell every time someone mentions my name.


  1. How will you approach a same sex (straight) into a date?

    1. Are you a guy or a girl? If you're a gay guy, why would you want to ask a straight guy out on a date? If you're going to ask a straight man out on a date in the hopes of spotting signs he's gay and like you, then prepare yourself to be rejected. Unless the straight guy really is one of us and he's just afraid to come out of the closet. Or he accepts cash. Best to ask one of our own. :)


A penny for your thoughts. Be kind.


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