Sleepless and a cup of coffee

Photo by richardpalumbo-photo.com

Oh, hey. I can't sleep and I have a hot cup of coffee with me. No, it's not the coffee that's robbing me of sleep. It's something else.

I just graduated from college last week and the reality of it all is starting to sink in. I'm a graduate. I no longer have to worry about school, about reports, about pop quizzes, and difficult professors. I no longer have to stress myself with rehearsals and walking from the main gate to the college building (a very long walk, let me tell you). Nope. I'm done with all that. But I do have a whole lot of things to worry about now.

I can't find sleep because I'm worried about not being able to get the job that I want. And somehow all the tweets and messages of encouragement don't seem to help. Mike has been a dear. He's been helping my email copies of my resume to most of the publishing companies in the Metro. So far no replies. Not yet. 

Sure, there are other jobs out there. Yesterday I was at the mall and I was approached twice by a call center in Alabang inviting me to apply for a job in their company. Yes, I was invited twice by two different HR officers from the same company. Makes me ask the following questions:

1. Are so many people leaving that company in waves that they have to give handouts and personally invite mall-goers to apply to fill the empty seats? If so, why are these people leaving if they're advertising themselves as the best?
2. While I'm waiting for a response from the publishing companies, should I consider going back to the call center until I get an email for the position I really applied for?
3. Should I even wait at all? If I did go back to the call center, I'd be working my ass off to become a trainer (yes, I did consider it and I would still do) and work my way up to corporate communications (3rd dream job). That isn't so bad, is it? 
4. What's taking these publishing companies so long to respond?!
5. If I decide to go back to the call center and leave the moment I get an email from a publishing company, won't that make look like a jerk for using them? But then so many people seem to be doing just that already.
6. Why am I even thinking of going back to the call center? Oh yeah--I'm officially unemployed now.
7. When will I become an editorial assistant?

Unlike some of my peers, I do not have the luxury of being unemployed for the next few months. I only have 2 more months left before my lifeline gets cut (I'm hoping it's 2 more months and not less) and I need to get a real stable job that pays. Sure, my writing projects bring in some cash, but it's not the 15th-30th kind. I only get paid when there's something to write about. The woes of being a freelance writer. That's why I really want to become an editorial assistant. It's the first step of my ladder towards writing-with-a-regular-paycheck. 

These are some of the things that have been keeping me awake at 2:30 AM. Just the tip of the iceberg. It seems the stress from reports, pop quizzes, difficult professors, and long uphill walks to the college building is easier to bear now than it originally did.

Oh, look...no more coffee.