I write. It’s what I do best. I write when I’m bored. I write when I’m inspired. I write just about anything I can think of. But most of the time I write essays and research papers as required by my instructors. I even attempted to rewrite an entire thesis that was completely taken out of Wikipedia only to find out that it has already been approved by panelists at PWU. But when it came to defending my words, sometimes I failed miserably.
Last Monday afternoon was my thesis defense. I wasn’t sure about what I felt when I was waiting for my turn. I wasn’t nervous and I didn’t feel like throwing up. I think I was a little bit exited because I wanted the day to end. I had everything ready: three copies of my study for the panelists, my laptop and cue cards to keep me from forgetting the finer points of my thesis.
My English didn’t fail me. As a matter of fact I think I delivered rather well for someone who didn’t study his own thesis days before. Allow me this pinch of arrogance: the others paled in comparison, I’m sure. But alas, the content of my study wasn’t as good as I hoped it to be.
The panelists had a lot to say about my thesis. My related lit was weak, my objectives weren’t impressive, the significance of my study didn’t do my topic justice. I guess they the panelists were expecting a lot from me and my work fared no better than some mediocre studies copied from Wikipedia. Constructive criticism is still criticism, and though I took them all with dignity, I was hurt because of my obvious lack of attention to my own work. I should have done this, I could have done that.
Now that it’s done, I have a feeling that I will be meeting the panelists again on Monday for a re-defense. That means I would have to come back with all the improvements done on my thesis. Tough luck considering I also have a job to worry about and a couple of videos to produce. But I am fervently praying that I don’t get to see them next week anymore.
We were told that the list of people who will come back for a re-defense will be posted this evening. I’ve checked our yahoo groups and it still isn’t there yet. This is nerve-racking. It’s like judgement day and you’re waiting to find out if you’re going to have an early sem break, salvation, or come back and suffer once more…
Matutulog na nga ako!