Unhappy

Forgive this blog entry for I feel like I need to get this out of my system. For the past few days I’ve been bothered and stressed by the only person I thought would make things easier for me. My partner did something I never wanted him to do: going to a gay bar with friends without me. Now I understand that it is his group’s routine to go to Bed almost every week, but it’s really bothersome because miracles happen in gay bars, especially Bed in Malate. I told my partner when we got together that he should not go there without me. He said yes, however, he went there twice without telling me or asking for permission – I had to ask him if went there the night before. I got really mad and I’m running out of patience here. Now some of you might say that I’m too possessive and that there’s nothing wrong with going to gay bars, but I really think that I’m right here. See, in gay bars, especially Bed, if you’re not with your partner, you’re practically single. Like I said, miracles will happen. And something did happen (this is a different story)! I admit, I do not trust him fully, yet, but it’s more on the respect for the relationship, for the partner – me. I love him, but so many people are now against him. My judgment’s clouded and I’m getting scolded by people for it. I’m better and a helluva lot SMARTER than this, I know. He finds it difficult to change this. I don't even think he's amenable to this simple condition of mine. If he changes, good; if not, then I’ll wait for him to mess up and I’m walking out of the door. I have to save whatever respect I have for myself.