Let's talk about gay men with abs

Over a cup of coffee, a friend of mine told me what his best friend told him: there is a ranking for gay men that is based purely on their looks. Basically, the "Top 25" is composed of gay men who look the same: properly groomed, fit clothing, big chest, strong arms, and a six-pack. (Apparently a flat tummy is not enough anymore) And those who look otherwise, and by that I mean a regular man with no bulging muscles--a man who, in the eyes of men who subscribe to this ridiculous ranking, look unremarkable--belong to the "Bottom 25." I almost spilled my coffee when I heard this.

I'm a regular guy. I don't have a six-pack, I don't have big arms and chest. In fact, I recently had my weight checked and I found out that I'm a pound over my ideal body weight. But what I can be proud of is that I can dress well. I'm a fan of button downs and polos that do not cling tightly to my entire upper body like a chameleon to a branch.

Despite my liking for comfortable collared shirts and casual long sleeves, it seems, from the requirements of this ranking, I am unremarkable still. In fact, all my friends, my good gay friends who are all doing so well in their chosen field, are also unremarkable because, like me, they do not have the body of a Greek god.

When I went to a bar in Malate to meet a friend at midnight (who forgot to meet me, unfortunately), I met an Indian-American man who just came from the States and he told me I was different from the rest of the men at the bar that night--a bar that was full of abs and testosterone. I indulged myself a little and asked what he meant by "different" and this was what he said: "You're the only guy here who can talk and make sense." That came from someone who owned several businesses in the States.

Me, a regular guy with no six-pack, can talk and make sense. Isn't that sexier? Isn't that more attractive? Isn't it more remarkable to be able to hold a conversation than maintain a group of abdominal muscles that have become society's basis of a "real" man? What is a real man anyway? If I were single, I wouldn't want to date a man who spends more time at the gym than living life. I would rather spend time with a man who I can talk with. But I have already met that man and we have been together for almost four years. Completely unremarkable.

It makes me wonder, where do we, regular gay men, belong? Where do we put ourselves in this world of abs and toned arms and bulging chests? Does being regular nowadays truly make us undesirable? And are we left to mingle with fellow unremarkably regular gay men too because some men with abs think that men with abs should only meet (or fuck) other men with abs?

Men with abs. Pfft. Where's the variety in that?

Two shirtless guys on Twitter

A conversation between two shirtless guys on Twitter.

Guy 1: What's up?
Guy 2: Hey! Wanted to go to the gym but that's not gonna happen.
Guy 1: Why? I went today; worked on my chest. Trying to get it more pumped up.
Guy 2: I know. I wanted to go so bad, but the weather was horrible.
Guy 1: Oh really? Boo! I would have made you go if I lived down there.
Guy 2: Jealous that you went. Urg! I'm so mad!
Guy 1: Don't be mad. Taking breaks is good sometimes.
Guy 2: Yeah, but I haven't gotten back into a groove.
Guy 1: Aw. What wrong? Why didn't you go today?
Guy 2: It was pouring and I didn't want to walk to the gym wet.
Guy 1: Aw. I would have made you go if I lived down there.

Is this really what a lot of men are interested in these days? They're trying to get their muscles "pumped up" so much they're forgetting to use their brains. I also can't help but wonder: are they really gym buddies or f*ck buddies? Guy 1 seemed like he's ready for some private work-out with Guy 2 at his place. And one more thing: can you not use an umbrella to cover yourself on your way to the gym? But if he's gay then having no umbrella can be very advantageous--gyms these days are where the buffed carnivorous gay guys are and they love equally hot bodies covered with wet, white shirts. :)

*I have nothing against gay men since I am one myself, but I find big muscled men in general who seem to have lost their wits to be an oddity in this ever changing world. Surprisingly they are growing in numbers. We will soon be overrun by Johnny Bravos!

Lotsa Lutz

That's Kellan Lutz on a Calvin Klein window. Who isn't lusting over him?

If you'd zoom a wee bit on that mannequin with the red undies... Stuffed, huh?