Freelancing 'til when?

When I was in my third year of college, I began working as a freelance writer for an Australian website. I wrote hundreds of articles. I did this until I finished my studies and it has helped me pay for projects and allowed me to spend a little more on food. I only stopped from doing freelance work when I began my shortlived career as an account associate at TeamAsia. Then I went back to doing freelance work and it has brought me to places I've never been, meet very important people and allowed me to buy things I never thought I could afford. More importantly, it gave me complete control over my time.

A corporate slave can only wish for what I can do in my spare time (which is a lot mind you). I can do what I want--sleep late, wake up late, meet friends for lunch or dinner, watch a movie in the afternoon--provided that I finish my tasks early. Right now, I am handling two online jobs, I still write for the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, a few PR projects and I host every now and then, but I still have time to manage the house, walk the dog and go to lunch with friends. 

But when you've been doing freelance work for a long time, especially if it's mostly online, it tends to make you want to stop every now and then. There are days when I feel that I'm getting tired of what I'm doing and wish to take a day off and I've done that. I went on leave for a day without actually going on leave. I just made sure that my superiors can reach me whenever they have questions about my work (I haven't done that in a long time). 

Also, there's a thought that never seems to stop bugging me: stability. Obviously, I can't do freelance work forever. The money is really good, but only when there are projects. There are days when I think of working for a bigger events firm like Eventscape or maybe go full-time at NCCA. Or finally working for a magazine. The money may not be as good as what I'm earning now, but there is stability there, experience and professional growth eventually. Besides, what purpose will my degree serve if I do not work full-time for a company?

Hold on. I did not study to become a corporate slave, did I? A degree is a privilege not given to everybody, but does that mean we have to do what society expects us, college graduates, to do and slave twenty to thirty years for a couple of companies? Nothing's wrong with doing freelance because a freelance job is still a job and it does not mean we should only give a fraction of what we are capable of to finish it. My work still gets criticized, we still get feedback (sometimes too much) and we learn from them. I'm not very different from my contemporaries in the corporate world.

But the nagging thought of stability is still there and after giving it much thought, I realized that it all boils down to lifestyle. It's the only thing that's keeping me from leaving my freelance posts. So the questions now is: when will I be ready to give up the lifestyle I have grown to enjoy and go back to the corporate world? Something I'll have to answer soon.

A Night In A Blue Bar

I remembered something last night which I’ve forgotten to blog. After a rather disappointing movie with my friends at Greenbelt days ago, I’ve decided to take one of my other “special” friends to a blue bar in Malate. It wasn’t easy for him to decide whether to go or not to, but my friend’s curiosity got the better of him – he has never been there before.

It was funny because he did not want to be noticed by anyone he knows, especially by anyone from his school. At exactly 1 in the morning, with hoodies and caps, we ventured to the busy streets of Nakpil. It took us a couple more minutes to get in line to this unbelievably small and crowded bar. I’ve been to this place before; however, it still gave me chills because I can never stand being in a place as crowded as a can of tuna with booming music and the scent of ecstasy in processed air.

So there we were, meters from the ramp, with no bottle of beer in hand, swaying to the music when everybody else was dancing and grinding (not to be confused with losers, please! Ha-ha!). Under the lasers and dim light even the ugliest can become the best looking. I warned my very discreet friend not to trust the dimly lit bar because most people there naturally look less good looking when they come outside. He did not believe me at first, but eventually he noticed I was right.

The funny thing about that particular night – I thought - was that my friend never wanted attention. But to go in a blue bar means to catch attention, having fun merely comes second (I will slap anyone who thinks otherwise). Almost nobody paid attention to him, I had more than enough. There were not really much guys there who passed our standards that night anyway. Then it suddenly dawned on me that he did not want attention, but we were there merely to satisfy his curiosity of being in a place he’s not accustomed to. He got culture shock – even I had that when I went there for the first time.

Everything else went well, but the one thing I’ve feared for my friend came: he wanted to go back soon. I am such a bad influence! No matter, when we think friends did us wrong they still remain our friends. I’m not saying it was wrong of me to bring him there, merely pondering if I’m the right person to guide my friend in this complicated world called gay life. But then again, the phrase did not really match my explanation. Ha-ha!

Correct me if I’m wrong. Gay bars are places where gay people go to because there are nude male dancers. Blue bars are places mostly filled with gay guys, not necessarily the entire list of people in that area.