Not like the rest

I went to Distillery last night with a friend and met a lot of new people whose names I can barely remember now. I had a couple of drinks (some were free) and I listened to them and laughed. Some of them told me that I "need to loosen up" and be more "out there" because I was quiet most of the time and I only speak when spoken to.

Somehow I find it difficult to be just that -- loose and loud -- because I'm afraid of making a fool of myself in a public place. Even when I'm nearly drunk I consciously try to make an effort to control myself. I don't want to be like those who get drunk, be slutty, vomit in a public place, and make an embarrassing scene (read: garbage). The day I do become that which I very dislike I might just lose the will to socialize.

I know that to loosen up and be louder doesn't equate to being trash, but I know myself and it might lead to that if ever I do welcome the thought even for a night.

But that's just me.